As we’re starting a new year, I wanted to share with you 5 ways to practice Self-Love. You probably did your vision board or had a New Years’ resolution that included something like “love myself more” or “be more Selfish this year.” If you didn’t do any of this but still think that you need to love yourself more this year, this post is for you.
Background Story.
In 2018, I was weirdly introduced to self-love. I realized that I was lacking in the self-love department. So I was craving to know how to love myself more and what it meant to be loving yourself.
To practice self-love, which I didn’t know what it was back then, I had to go on a spiritual journey. I’m not saying that you should also go on a spiritual journey, but I believe that you get closer to loving yourself more by loving your creator.
On my self-love journey, I took care of myself, and it’s been almost 3 years now. I started with my spiritual health, understanding what God truly wants for me, and fixing my relationship with him. Then I went to get my physical, mental, and emotional health in order.
Besides taking care of my health, I went on trips, took myself on a date (I went to see many movies alone and ate alone in restaurants). There was a feeling of great happiness that I had. I was able to be alone with my thoughts, and it significantly contributed to my Self-Love journey.
So, what does self-love means?
In Emmerance’s word, self-love is putting yourself first no matter what. Self-love is not precisely being selfish; however, it does sound like being selfish. When you put yourself first in your life, many people will think that you are selfish.
When you’re going through your self-love journey, you will realize that putting yourself first might hurt other people. Practicing self-love is not meant to hurt people. Suppose people around you are hurt because you’re putting more attention on yourself. In that case, they’re the ones that are selfish or narcissistic. However, those that want what’s best for you will encourage you to put yourself first.
Now the five ways that you can practice self-love this year is pretty easy. These 5 ways are going to push you to focus more on yourself.
Practicing Self-Love means being okay to be alone.
In the How To Maximize Your Singleness blog post, I shared that being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. Therefore, the first thing that you have to do when you practice self-love is being okay with being alone. When quarantine started, many people were forced to be alone – they had to stay home, and they did not know what to do with themselves.
We’re going to celebrate one year since all of this pandemic started, so by now, I hope that you found your solutions to cope with aloneness. If not, I can give you some tips on another blog post.
When I was facing my aloneness in 2018, I was going on a spiritual journey, as I said above. I did that on purpose. Actually, I removed people that weren’t doing any good in my life. People that did not bring anything valuable to me. And while I pulled away from people around me, I started focussing on who I trusted the most: God.
I spent 50 days focusing on myself and working on my relationship with God. It was like going on a spiritual journey; I read the scriptures, prayed, did my affirmations, meditated, and was grateful for my life. So I highly suggest getting in touch with your spirit when you’re alone. This is the first method, and it will do wonders in your life.
Again, when you’re alone, you have to get closer to God. Practice being grateful every day and share the love with other people whenever you can.
Being alone is an essential skill that you must cultivate. The reason why I say this is, your body, mind, and soul are the only things that will be with you throughout your entire life. People come and go, nobody will stay with you forever, but your body, mind and soul will. So be comfortable with being alone.
Learning new skills is part of Self-Love.
When we say that being alone is a skill itself, you can also learn new skills while you’re alone. You probably did not realize it, but you are in an era where there’s internet everywhere, and you can learn new skills for free just by searching it on Google.
One thing that I’m looking forward to doing is learning how to paint again. I used to love painting, and I realize that it could be fun to do when I’m doing my Sunday Self-Care day. Many YouTubers teach people how to paint, so I can take advantage of it.
What would you like to learn this year? What are the skills that you need to cultivate? Having multiple skills can also build your confidence. However, you have to commit to doing it as often as possible.
There are many ways that you can learn new skills. The internet has the biggest library, but you can also read a book on that subject. You can also pay someone to mentor you; this is very effective because they will keep you accountable.
Do what makes you happy.
In 2020, I was listening to this Podcast (I completely forgot the name of it). The man was explaining how he trained himself to be okay with being alone. He excluded himself from society for 2 years. He went to this hut and lived there, alone, in full survival mode.
His story inspired me; it gave me chills. I also wanted to go far away, to exclude myself from the people that I know. However, I wasn’t ready to go to that extent yet. Therefore, I rented a one-bedroom apartment and started living on my own.
I barely have visitors; I don’t have a sofa either. Where I live, I do everything that I love doing the most. I go on walks, listen to music, dance on my own, sing, laugh, talk to myself, and journal. There’s more to this list, but you get the idea.
If you are alone in an apartment like me or live with someone, do things that makes you happy. If you love sleeping, take some time to sleep. Enjoy doing the things that you love alone; it will bring you pleasure.
I know a woman that travels alone. The last time we spoke, she explained the feeling that she was feeling when she went to this market in Europe and was looking at the colours of the fruits. She said, “Victoria, I stopped in the middle of the market and started crying with joy because the peace that lived within me was something that I’ve never felt before.”
Now, if you cannot afford to go on a trip to Europe alone, that’s okay. You can also experience that peace within yourself while you’re doing something you’ve always wanted to do. I feel it all the time, and even when I was in a relationship, I still had a “Me Day.”
Self-Evaluation is part of your Self-Love journey.
Many people do not evaluate themselves. It takes a lot of self-awareness to be able to self evaluate. However, self-awareness goes hand-in-hand with self-evaluation. Therefore ask yourself a few hard questions every day if you need to. Questions like, am I happy today? Am I in the right state of mind?
A lot of people do not check up on themselves, especially on their mental health. What I noticed that happened during this quarantine season is that people got slowed down. Many of us are so used to the busy life that we started getting frustrated when it slowed down.
When you’re frustrated, you will look for things to distract you from the issues. Because it’s so uncomfortable to check ourselves, it’s scary to discover that we’re not okay.
When the outside reopens again, we have to know ourselves on a deeper level. There’s not a better time to do it than doing it now. Doing self-evaluations will help us understand ourselves on a deeper level. It will help us communicate better and make meaningful relationships.
So, I mentioned being okay with being alone. If you’re doing the self-evaluation and realize that you need support, don’t be afraid to reach out to people, even people you barely know. The internet is full of good people. You can get into Facebook communities or have meaningful conversations with people.
Self-Care equals Self-Love.
Many people think that practicing self-care is just about having spa days or days off. Yes, it does include all the tangible things you do, but it also goes beyond that.
It’s a weird thing to say, but I believe that many people don’t know how to take care of themselves. I say this because I see many people, or when I talk to many people, they don’t really know what makes them happy.
Most of us follow the trend of having bubble baths. I’m not saying that it’s wrong but is that really something you want? Is that your cup of tea? I know that it can be relaxing, but it might not be therapeutic for you. One part of self-care is committing to exploring the tangible activities that you like to do. Things that calms your mind, mine is meditation.
The other part of self-care is non-tangible things. By getting to know yourself more, you should realize if you’ve always been a giver or a taker. Either way, an example of self-care here is to set healthy boundaries or to learn how to say no.
Some self-care activities are the basic stuff that some people take for granted—things like eating well, showering, doing some exercise. We fail to do that regularly. If you cannot do this regularly, you need to step your game up.
I recommend starting with tangible activities like working out. When it becomes something you do regularly, you can start looking inward. You can do more self-evaluation, self-discoveries to find what you will need to implement.
Doing this will level up your value. As explained in the 5 Ways to Value Yourself blog post, you will see that I encourage self-evaluation. Therefore, get to know yourself on a deeper level because in-depth self-care increases your value.
One last thing on practicing Self-Love
To finish, practicing self-love is actually about taking action. Don’t just say that “this year, I will love myself more.” You should do it! Set your boundaries, know your weaknesses and etc.
Sometimes I would spend my day saying I will do this or do that, which I want to be. However, there were no actions that would back it up. If you are like me, you talk a lot, but you do less, then I challenge you this year to say less.
You might want to get an accountability partner, and that’s fine. If you tell someone that you trust about your goals, then what you can do is start doing what you said you’ll do. When you’re halfway done, you can start telling your friends what you’re up to.
I hope you enjoyed this blog post. If you have more self-love ideas, please leave a comment below or connect with me on Instagram.
If you also have other ways you practice self-love which I did not mention above, then definitely leave a comment so that I know what your doing on your Self-Love Journey.
